As AC/DC sez: Who made who?

So, in perusing Powells.com, your pal the Rake saw this essay by Erik Barmack, author of The Virgin, "an electric, darkly comic novel set in the world of reality television."  The essay starts like so:

Last year, after engaging in an extended period of self-loathing, I decided to buck up. I told myself, "Okay, E., this is it. You're ready to write the next Great American Novel." My book would be a massive, sweeping satire — the story of a man who wakes up one day deep in debt and he doesn't know why. You see, I was ready to make a statement.

And this is all well and good, depending on your politics.  But frankly, I'm more interested in the blurbs for The Virgin, which in toto encompass a nearly unbeatable cast of strange characters and daffy assertions.  First, someone had the brilliant idea of asking a reality TV "star" for his opinion:

"The Virgin is an extremely well-written psychological exploration of our reality TV culture. Erik Barmack takes us very authentically behind the scenes and into the minds of people looking for love in public places. Imaginative, dark, and often uncannily accurate and insightful, this book is not to be missed. Read it!" Alex Michel, The Original "Bachelor"

This strikes me as akin to asking the lion if the circus is any good, but whatever.  Here come the names a-droppin':

"A deadpan wit and surprising heart that will remind readers of Nick Hornby... The Virgin scores big." Kurt Wenzel, author of Lit Life and Gotham Tragic

"If Nathanael West and Brett Easton Ellis had a child, he might be Erik Barmack... The Virgin is quirkily, compulsively original." Tama Janowitz, author of Slaves of New York

"An engaging exploration of the crisis of authenticity in our Televisual Age. With its shimmering surface and its undertow of despair and disorientation, The Virgin reads like an updated Bright Lights, Big City." - Chris Bachelder, author of Bear v. Shark: The Novel

Hmm.  So many questions spring to mind.  Now, I really enjoy Nathanael West, but if Nathanael West and Brett Easton Ellis had a child, could that child sell enough books in 2005 to keep itself in decently cut suits and medium grade cocaine?  And if (a) Erik Barmack is the (literary) progeny of Nathanael West and Brett Easton Ellis; and (b) Erik Barmack has the "deadpan wit and surprising heart" of Nick Hornby; then (c) is it not possible that Nathanael West and Brett Easton Ellis also gave birth to Nick Hornby?  If so, can they be punished for his crimes?  And does this make Hornby and Barmack brothers, setting up a possible Cain v. Abel situation in which Barmack kills Hornby for his success and is forced to become a fugitive and wanderer on the Earth?

And we haven't even gotten Jay McInerney into the mix, yet.  Who's the child of Nathanael West and Jay McInerney?  (Chuck Palahniuk?) Or, say, Tama Janowitz and Jay McInerney?  Plum Sykes, perhaps?

Now I have something to do over the weekend.  See you Monday, gentle reader.

Comments

[Erik Barmack]

Hey:

I saw this bit on the essay I wrote for Powells.com, and it made me smirk. So, a few points:

1) My essay went on to explain how I became addicted to reality-TV and gave up the pursuit of the GON (Great American Novel). Yes, it's true -- I quit, I sold out, I went to the lowest common denominator.

2) Just to be clear -- you don't have that much control of how you're blurbed. I merely approached writers I liked and asked them to read my book. Alex Michel, a nice guy, was blurbed because the book is about reality-TV, and someone in marketing thought it was a nice statement of "authenticity." I don't disagree.

Alright, I'm off to get scrambled eggs. I need to recover from my Jay McInerny-induced coke binge. Or was it the pounding of drinks, (old) Augusten Burroughs-style, that put me under? I don't know, I can't say. Perhaps this is what happens when you spend too much time in the Shteyngart-ian Russian underworld out in Brighton Beach.

-E